Ok, just when I thought I’d heard everything but I learned something new when I saw the trailer for “The Duff”, based on the book by author Kody Keplinger starring Mae Whitman.
DUFF = Designated Ugly Fat Friend
It’s looks like it’s going to be a fun and positive movie, but the acronym makes me take a moment to ponder how much we as curvy girls agree to roles in life because of our size. I hate to admit it but there was a time in my recent past, that I found myself unconsciously agreeing to the role of the DUFF. I didn’t know there was an actual term then but I had completely integrated it into my lifestyle.
I allowed “girlfriends” to make jokes about me being single, listen to them talk about how skinny they all were and watch their coats and purses at the bar while they flirted and giggled on the dance floor. For a long time I just accepted it as my role in life. Now I am very aware of the necessity for self love, so I can finally take responsibility for the real role I played. Thankfully I finally grew tired of sitting around more than one table feeling like the table-cloth, hidden and covered with leftovers and trash. Trust me, it doesn’t matter how old you are – just as long as you stand up and step away.
The reason there is such a surge of energy behind the curvy revolution is that we are taking action against what used to be acceptable in our lives. Kody Keplinger’s story has become a film because it’s time for the story to be told for all of us but especially young teenage girls.
Who are the friends that surround you? Are you putting up with offensive behavior or abuse because that’s always how it’s been?
Unfortunately being “fat” or “plus-size” provokes yet another form of discrimination in our culture. Keep remembering that just because it exists doesn’t mean that we have to accept it.
Be willing to open your heart and consider yourself beautiful in the here and now. It takes a lot of courage and a lot of patience but very soon you’ll realize you don’t have to be anybody’s DUFF.